WILL THE REAL ERSATZERS PLEASE STAND UP!

Gary Ralston in the Daily Record was fulsome in his praise for a world-class showing by a certain football team at the weekend. The team scored six goals and kept a clean sheet against apparently top-drawer opposition. Strangely, this match was not shown on MOTD or on any highlights programme devoted to the giants of Europe. So which teams were involved? Ersatz Rangers FC, of course, playing, appropriately enough, Ersatz Airdrie! Have a read here and see how vomit-inducing the DR can be when talking about their favourites.

Not that you'd guess that our media still has this fawning attitude from reading the Ersatzers' blogs. According to them the DR, the BBC, in fact every section of the Scottish media have an agenda of putting the boot into Ersatz FC. How they make this out I don't know. Ralston briefly mentions the two hundred-odd Ersatzers trying to cause trouble at New Broomfield and how the police had to break them up. They were actually in the walkway in front of the stand, letting off smoke bombs and no doubt singing their songs of hate. Amazingly the stewards and police did not break them up until about half-an-hour into the match. Even more amazingly, there was very little mention of it in our media. Imagine what the reaction would have been if that had been the Green Brigade!

With the DR being seen as part of 'The Enemy' it is sticking in a lot of Ersatzers' craw that Jim McColl and his crew seem to be using this rag as their platform of choice. The split right down the support is palpable now, with each side accusing the other of dirty tricks, being money-oriented and not having the club's interests at heart. Amazingly, Bill McMurdo is surprised that death threats have started to be bandied about. Why that should come as a surprise I don't know; that's the usual modus operandi of the supporters of Team Ibrox. What this means for the public at large is that it would be unwise to buy shares in the proposed sell-off of Royal Mail until we see how this all pans out.

But wait! Who's that on the horizon, riding to the rescue? Why it's Jack Irvine and his Media House posse! Just days after Jabba telling everybody that Jack Irvine and Media House did not speak for Ersatz FC,  it turns out that they do after all! And Irvine has decided to come out with all guns blazing, if you'll pardon me for beating this metaphor to death! He says in a statement about McColl etc:

  "I believe they have now stepped out of their comfort zones and are going to find that the everyday rules of business do not apply in the world of football and the media scrutiny they now face is like nothing they will ever have known in their professional lives"

I don't know about you, but that sounds remarkably like a threat to me. It seems like Irvine is ready to get down and dirty and indulge in the kind of smear and inuendo that has recently been the preserve of the 'Better Together' campaign. Whatever he plans to do it seems as if the battle lines are drawn. The AGM should be interesting, although many want to wait and see what the audited accounts say before deciding on which side to be. Audited accounts? At Ibrox? They might have a long wait!

Meanwhile, the Frankenstein's monster that calls itself Ian Black was given a standing ovation at New Broomfield; not so much for his contribution to the match as to show support for him when the football authorities are 'pickin' oan 'im.' Apparently Black played well in this game, prompting Gary Ralston, and others, to claim that Ersatz FC must be odds-on to win Division 1. Ah, now it all becomes clear! Black is going to knock his pan in until Ersatz FC are the long odds-on favourites. Imagine the odds he'll then get if he backs them to lose the league!

 

'Er...any chance ye could get sumdy else tae deliver this parcel tae Ibrox?'

GOODFELLAS

So that's it, it's bye bye Green as he jumps before he is pushed. Like Tessio in The Godfather, Bill McMurdo has decided to plump for what he sees as the winning side: the Bus Brothers. He bemoans the passing of his hero and fires a warning to everybody that they'd better not mess with the Bus Brothers!

It seems to be de rigeur to have a Night of The Long Knives at Ibrox every few weeks nowadays. It's getting so the Ersatzers don't know who to believe. One minute they're all cheering Green as he hands out tea, goes sooking up to the bigots in Ulster and accuses everyone of sectarian hatred, everyone except, of course, the real ones that are constantly guilty of it! He was the big hero, fighting their corner, standing up to our football authorities, which, apparently, are run by Peter Lawell. Then, suddenly, he is a hate figure, accused of - gasp! - wanting to make money! What the hell did they think he wanted to do?

Strangely, not one person criticises Mr Dignity for his part in all this, despite the fact that he's got more faces than a town clock. Here's a list outlining his duplicity:

1) As part of the Blue Knights, he denounces Green and argues how bad he would be for Rangers.
2) He joins Green's board at Ibrox.
3) He professes his friendship and undying support for Malcolm Murray.
4) He stabs Murray in the back and steps into his shoes.
5) He promises to be a 'steady hand on the ship.'
6) He resigns and goes back to position 1, denouncing Green.

Why the hell do they all think this guy's some kind of hero?

The business about Ian Black putting bets on has, of course, prompted the Ersatzers to cry conspiracy once more. All they can go on about is how little he put on, how others are never out of the bookies and how he's being picked on. One of them even dredged up about how Jock Stein liked a flutter. If I remember correctly, Big Jock liked the horses, as do many connected with football. Footballers are allowed to put bets on, or do the football pools, but betting on matches, especially matches you're taking part in, is totally banned. It's not difficult to work out why. The fact that Black was betting on teams he was playing against, even if it was a five-bob accumulator, was bound to set alarm bells ringing. It certainly might serve to explain how he barely turns up at many games. Rather than be angry at the player, however, the Ersatzers, as usual, start circling the wagons and blaming Peter Lawwell. It's getting a bit tiresome now.

And Sooperally got into the act, claiming he had a list of 100+ people who regulary bet. He says that nobody knows about the rules, but isn't that his job to know? Some manager! And he doesn't seem to know the difference between 'putting on a wee coupon' and betting against your own team!

Some of the Ersatzers have been having a go at Vincent Lunny; saying that he invented the Ian Black scenario to deflect from the Celtic fans in Kazakhstan. No, I don't get it either. Anyway, this prompted the usual 'they only pick oan us' moans. They all seem to forget that not once has Lunny done anything about the rancid singing of the Ersatzers. How the hell do they make out that they've been picked on?

Back to the situation in the Ibrox boardroom and many of the Ersatzers seem overjoyed that the Bus Brothers look like being the new rulers in Bigotland. The general feeling is that nobody will mess with them and they will stand up to the 'enemies.' They certainly seem the type of people that are suited to Ibrox, knoworrimean? No doubt Peter Lawwell will be waking up some time in the near future to find a big cuddy's heid beside him!

Loony Leggat, meanwhile, is still banging on about Green, Ahmad and Whyte, even though all three of them appear to be an irrelevance now. He really needs to be careful about what muck he rakes up. It's obvious to anyone with more than one brain cell that Green's acquisition of Rangers' assets was probably illegal. Does Leggat really want all that to be investigated? The upshot of any such enquiry would be that Ersatz Rangers would no longer exist and Asda would finally get that new store!

Strangely, Leggat is happy to quote the SFA to provide evidence of Ahmad's wrongdoing. The SFA, according to the PSA on this occasion, is the epitome of integrity and totally to be trusted. Would this be the same SFA that he is constantly telling us is run by Peter Lawell? The logical conclusion then is either Leggat is a liar or he is saying that Peter Lawell is the acme of integrity. I wonder which conclusion he would like us to reach.

'Aye Ah've goat a listy people that go intae bookmakers aw the time. An' what's wrang wi' buyin' a book, that's what Ah waant tae know! An' if any-y yez waant tae come wide Ah'll pull this chib oot that Ah've goat in ma poakit here. Things've chinged at Ibrox noo an' wur no' pittin' up wi' any shite 'n 'at. Big Traynor, the Goadfaither, wull come roon an' gie yez the malky!'

THE ANTI-RANGERS DAILY RANGER?

Keith Jackson responds to the pathetic claims made by Ersatz FC on their website by trumpeting how the Daily Record broke the news about Whyte's shady dealings. Ersatz FC accused the DR of being 'anti-Rangers' and of pursuing an agenda against the club. Jackson's reply, however, is just as bare-faced in its blatant ignoring of the truth.

We all know that the Ersatzers blame everybody else for their woes but blaming the Daily Record is a new low for the officials at the club. Since Day 1 the DR has been in the forefront of accepting the 'same club' doublethink and, especially when Jabba was still there, of blasting all and sundry at the 'unfair' treatment meted out to Ersatz FC. It is really difficult to see where this 'anti' agenda rears its head. Even the paranoid Ersatzer blogs don't give examples. All they do is stick an 'h' into every word and think that proves a point - Dhaily Rhecord, Dhaily Rhebel etc etc. Are they going for some kind of record (pardon the pun) in how many organisations they can alienate?

Jackson's reply is full of back-slapping self-congratulation. Apparently nobody knew a thing about Craig Whyte until he and Jabba revealed all. He neglects to say that various bloggers were pointing out the truth about Whyte almost as soon as he appeared on the scene. Then there was the BBC programme, which prompted the 'Rangers Loyal' to call for boycotts of BBC Scotland and caused a few men and their dugs to 'demonstrate' outside BBC Scotland HQ. This at a time when the Record were still going on about billionaires, wealth off the radar and front-loaded funds.

The revelations about Ticketus in the Record came far too late for anybody to do anything about it; not that they would have done anyway. When the inevitable slide into administration came, the 'Loyal' turned up outside Ibrox to demonstrate. Did they call for Whyte's head? Did they demand to know the truth? No. They indulged in singing The Billy Boys and disgusting chants about Celtic Boys Club. Even then they were blaming everybody else!

I remember the rumour mill at the time saying that Jabba was 'sitting' on a story about Rangers. How the story survived being sat on by Jabba's bulk would be an interesting story in itself! Anyway, according to Jackson, the DR had the story a full SIX MONTHS before it published it! Why was the story witheld? Well, Jackson claims that Craig Whyte 'banned' him from printing it. How did he manage that? I don't remember any tales of court injunctions or the like. More likely, Whyte sent round a leg of finest New Zealand to Jabba to keep the story under wraps!

Contrary to what Jackson would have us believe, it was the 'internet bampots' who uncovered the truth about Whyte, many by just resorting to a simple Google search. Traynor probably cried his eyes out when he had to publish that story and it is telling that he did publish it only when everyone else had already exposed Whyte as a crook. Still, Jackson does give us one piece of truth. He quotes the offishel word of Ersatz FC on its website; "If Rangers fans want the truth they will find it only on the club’s official platforms.” As Jackson points out, that'll be the same platforms that Whyte and Green used extensively!

Meanwhile, the Daily Record, and most of the rest of our Fourth Estate, have decided to ignore the story of the ASA and 'The World's Most Successful Club.' They were all quick to trumpet the ASA's decision a while back but are strangely quiet now. A review process is under way to assess if the ASA was right to accept the 'same club, different company' argument. Apparently, this would be inconsistent with how the ASA have dealt with the same kinds of situations in the past. There is also the tiny matter of Ersatz FC lying to the ASA, quoting the Stock Exchange as saying it was the same club when they did no such thing! The ASA decision, then, might well be overturned. I wonder why the 'anti-Rangers' Daily Record is keeping so quiet on this one!

The argument of whether or not to support the 'Real Rangers Men' in their bid to oust Green seems to have come down firnly in favour of the proposal. Bill McMurdo now stands alone as probably the only supporter of Green and Ahmad and he is being lambasted left, right and centre by folk on other Ersatz blogs and social sites. Everyone seems to be questioning his impartiality, his loyalty and even his sanity. Understandably, Bill has left the debate behind in order to concentrate on next years vote on independence.

He claims on his blog that the independent cause is blighted by anti-English racism and goes on to voice his hatred of bigotry and sectarianism. (While, ironically, using the terms 'Romans' and 'Romanism' to describe Catholics and Catholicism respectively!) Of course the usual crap ends up being posted: separate schools, the Irish, Hitler was a Catholic etc etc ad nauseum. They use bigoted and racist language but if you point this out you are the one accused of being a bigot! It's a bit like some black person in America being called a racist for speaking out against the Ku Klux Klan!

Similarly, they don't like being questioned on their take on history, where every evil that has happened is attributable to the Catholic Church! Question this and you are accused of rewriting history - this from a man who admits to being an adherent of the British Israelism myth! Meanwhile, all manners of filthy racism goes unchecked. For example:

"the more you post, the lower down the class ladder you’re going – and as you’ll agree, then oirish are never considered to be very high anyway."

Finally, there's the story about Ian Black and his betting against his own teams. Apparently he's too thick to even think of getting a mate to put the bets on for him. The SFA claims that he is not suspected of anything more; eg deliberately trying to throw the matches. If that is so, then why the hell was he betting on his opponents? Of course, we know fine well that he'll get a slap on the wrist and Sooperally will fine him a bottle of orangeade and a curly-wurly.

'Kin Ah get a fiver each-wye oan...haud oan...what team dae Ah play fur again? Oh, aye, right. An who ur we playin' oan Saturday? Well geez a fiver each-wye oan theym. What d'ye mean Ah canny dae each-wye? Surely Ah kin get money back if they come in second or thurd? What's that? Ye canny pye oot thurd place when thurs only two in it? An' ye'll no' pye oot oan second place? That's pyoor discrimination, by the way. You must be wanny they...what team dae Ah play fur again? Oh, aye, you must be wanny they minge-haters!'

IT'LL ALL COME OUT IN THE WASH

Your friendly, neighbourhood PSA, Loony Leggat, has pounced on a new story about Green and Ahmad. Apparently Green's and Ahmad's stories about the money Craig Whyte put into Ahmad's mother's bank account were different. Amid shrill accusations of money laundering, Leggat claims that this is another reason not to trust Green and Ahmad. Unlike his usual tirades, he fails to mention whether Ahmad's mother is a Christian or not.

Leggat's argument is that Ahmad claimed that the money was deposited by Whyte "to show his good faith in the Ahmad-Green promises that he would be part of the future of Rangers and that they needed to get Whyte’s agreement to get his shares if they got their CVA proposals accepted." Green, however, stated in a letter to the SFA that the money was "from Whyte to reimburse Ahmad for the £200,000 payment Ahmad personally made to Duff and Phelps to secure exclusivity on their bid for Rangers." The plot thickens, eh?

Reading the claims again, however, shows that they were not really that different at all. Despite what Leggat suggests, Ahmad never claimed that Whyte's money was an 'investment.' If Whyte was reimbursing Ahmad for his payment to Duff and Phelps then it was Whyte's money that ultimately paid the administrators. Does that not prove that Whyte was showing 'good faith' in the 'Ahmad-Green promises'? So, in reality, there is nothing to see here! No matter how anyone spins it, there are no 'gaping holes' in the stories told by Green and Ahmad. Love them or hate them, there are no essential inconsistencies in their explanations.

More worrying, however, are the allegations of money laundering. Nobody, it seems, has the first idea where the money came from that Whyte put into Ahmad's mother's bank account. Perhaps this was what Traynor was talking about when he claimed that Whyte was going to provide 'front-loaded' funds! At any rate, the SFA appear to be satisfied with the report from Pinsent-Masons or, at least, what they were allowed to see of it. This suggests one of two things: 1. Everything at Ibrox is above board or 2. The old symbiosis between Ibrox and Hampden is alive and kicking. I know which one my money's on!

Leggat points out that the letter from Green to the SFA, as well as the letter from the SFA questioning what went on are both available for perusal on the internet. He fails to mention, however, that they are posted on the Charlotte Fake twitter account. So is this a final admission that the stuff posted by Charlotte Fake is genuine? Presumably we can now expect to see her/his future revelations reported in our newspapers. Here, what's that pig doing up among the clouds?

Meanwhile it seems that one of the heroes of the Ersatzers, David Longmuir, has been receiving bonuses that nobody knew about. The only person that was aware of these bonuses, prompting allegations of kick-backs, was one Jim Ballantyne, erstwhile president of the SFL. Ballantyne has always been a fan of Airdrie, in the same mould as Jabba Traynor, as he held shares in Rangers. It seems every bit of corruption always has some connection to that manky, old building just off Paisley Road West!

Finally, I see that BBC Scotland has admitted that two of its staff were interviewed under Operation Yewtree. This information was released due to a request to them from a member of the public. Anyone willing to bet on which team this 'member of the public' supports? This unhealthy obsession with this particular topic is bordering on the psychotic.

And the BBC plays the bigot card again with yet another documentary scheduled about the scandal of Spanish children taken from their parents and sold to others. No doubt we'll read about how 'disgusted' the Orange contingent are on the Ersatzers' blogs after the programme is shown. Of course, the whole sorry story is a disgrace and deserves to be highlighted; but no less disgraceful is that practically the same thing occurred in Britain right up until the 1970s! Reports on the latter, however, are rare and the whole thing has been more or less swept under the carpet. It is utterly despicable that Britain continues to take this hypocritical moral high ground and equally despicable that folk like the Ersatzers enjoy and practically revel in these kinds of stories.

'Yes, that's right, Mr Opadopalopalopalus, your friend Mr Whyte's money will be ready by four o'clock. Just bung us a packet of Regal and we'll say no more! Cor blimey, ennitmarvlis, yeravvinalaffentcha, thisentchoormanorinnit etc etc...'

BILL'S TRUTH

Bill McMurdo has been in touch with Imran Ahmad and has listed the business that Ahmad has claimed to have brought to Ibrox. Still, though, not everyone is convinced. His blog is full of the undecided, the incredulous and the downright hostile. Everyone is still up in arms, it seems, at the fact that Ahmad claims he is owed money by the men at Ibrox.

Whether or not Ahmad is due the money, everyone is concentrating on the £3.5m he says he is owed. They are all failing, however, to take note of the small print, where Ahmad has offered to settle out of court for £500,000. Although this fact has been reported it seems to get lost among all the anger and accusations.

Speaking of reports, the Ersatzers are caught between a rock and a hard place. Many of them are claiming that Celtic supporters want Green to stay, which automatically means that he should go. On the other hand, however, the main cheerleaders for the McColl camp are the 'reporters' in the Daily Record. So what are they supposed to do? It seems no matter who they choose they are taking advice from 'the enemy.' Maybe they should bear in mind who it was that warned them about Craig Whyte and who chose to ignore all the easily-accessible information, claiming that he was a 'billionaire Rangers supporter.' Remember who turned out to be right!

The Daily Record also appear to be giving a constant platform to Kieran Prior, he of the 'Off-the-Radar IQ.' He still has it in for Green, moaning that Green refused to sell him his shares. The question, of course, presents itself: why the hell should he? Prior apparently offered 34.5p each for the shares, which he would be unable to get his hands on until December. It goes without saying that Green is perfectly entitled to hold out for a better offer than that, or even to hold onto his shares if he so wishes.

Prior also states that he will not support McColl's takeover until the latter is prepared to actually put his money where his mouth is. From this it is fairly easy to ascertain what Prior's game really is. By opposing both sides he hopes to cause even more instability and drive the share price down. He can then snap them up for a song and come trundling in like some beneficent Davros.

The best bit of the article in the Daily Record has to be right at the start, where it says that Prior "last night broke his self-imposed silence..." Silence? The guy never shuts up! It almost looks like he's a Daily Record columnist.

Loony Leggat, meanwhile, asks the question, What would Bill Struth do? Probably invite everybody Doon the Waatter for a short boating holiday is the quick answer to that! But Leggat decides that what he would actually do is support McColl and his merry band. That reminded me of Richard Attenborough's ridiculous statement, during the 1983 General Election, that Gandhi would have voted SDP! The only thing that could be said for certain is that Struth would probably have nothing to do with Ahmad. Not that I'm singling out Struth; practically every white person in this country was racist up until fairly recently.

Leggat decides to compare Struth to Walter Smith, saying that if Smith supports McColl then that's good enough for him. Among all the plaudits you always see regarding Struth, one word is always missing: bigot. Struth pretty much institutionalised the sectarian signing policy at Ibrox, which might have been okay for Leggat and his Presbyterian granny, but Smith might baulk at such comparisons. Then again, Struth might be spinning in his grave at being compared to a two-faced back-stabber like Auld Dignity!

It is still a complete mystery why Smith is held in such esteem, not only by the Ersatzers but by our Fourth Estate. He was never anything more than a chequebook manager, even when he returned to Ibrox. I suppose success at any price has always been the mantra at Ibrox, even if it drives them to liquidation.

So, really, the choice has not been made any easier for the Ersatzers. You pays your money and you takes your chance. Some of them think that Dave King is going to come riding to the rescue, but that could also be a poisoned chalice. Everybody seems to think that he won his case in South Africa but it's escaped their notice that much of his property was confiscated to pay off his debts. Is he a fit and proper person? I suppose if the Krays can make it onto the board...

Finally, has everyone seen the film Sin City? I thought that Brian Stockbridge looked familiar!

Separated at birth

WHO GOES? YOU DECIDE!

Isn't it strange how all of a sudden everyone sees something dodgy about Green's purchase of the assets from Duff and Phelps? At the time nobody could see anything wrong at all, even going so far as to agree with him that he had actually purchased Rangers. Now, however, he's Satan incarnate, who stopped the 'Real Rangers Men' from stepping in. It's enough to turn your stomach!

I've said continually that Green's purchase was immoral and probably illegal. Here is when I first mentioned this on my blog. I also mentioned this on newspaper forums and was blasted by people saying that Green was the only bidder. It was easy for him to be the only bidder, however, as nobody else got a chance. The entire episode was just another item in the Ibrox catalogue of shame.

The whole job of administrators is not to work for the benefit of the company, or for one individual, but for the benefit of the creditors. Duff and Phelps certainly did not work in this way. In fact, they had no right to sell off the assets at all. The task of the administrator is to find a buyer for the company as a going concern. If this fails then the company goes into liquidation. The liquidators come in and, as their name suggests, liquidate the assets, either together or separately, to gain the maximum return for creditors. This is not what happened at Ibrox; and it was all swept under the carpet - until now.

Amid all the sudden hatred for Green, Keith Jackson has decided to start lambasting the erstwhile 'saviour of Rangers.' In yesterday's Daily Record he said what I have been saying, and most people have been thinking, for over a year about Duff and Phelps's deal with Green:

"All these months on, something still stinks about the deal which was set in stone with a £5.5million price tag even before Green failed to save the Oldco from liquidation through a CVA.
How was it even possible for this knock-down price to be exclusively agreed with Green’s group in advance of the old company being liquidated?
After all, it is the administrator’s duty to maximise the total in the creditors’ pot."

Surprisingly, many on Rangers blogs appear to agree with this assessment, although they would have been ready to lynch anyone that suggested such a thing up until recently. This, however, is a dangerous path to go down and one that, if the liquidators, BDO, were to take seriously, could come back and bite them on their collective arse.

If it were to be proven that Green's purchase of the assets from Duff and Phelps was illegal, then everything that happened as a consequence is also illegal and, effectively, null and void. The SFA licence, the allowing of Ersatz Rangers into the league and the share issue could all be negated and the assets sold off properly. That would mean that Green's Rangers never properly existed. What happens to the 'same club' myth then?

All the duplicity that's gone on, with Green supposedly swindling Whyte, suggests to me that maybe all the behind-closed-doors wheeling and dealing goes much deeper. Loony Leggat constantly harps on about Green being merely a front-man for Imran Ahmad but it is entirely possible that Green was actually a front-man for somebody else. Could it be that the 'Real Rangers Men,' who nobody in their right mind would have trusted a year ago, put Green up as a front? Perhaps Auld Hughie was then meant to move over but is refusing to play ball! That would explain the smear campaign against him. If, as he says, he managed to hoodwink Whyte then doing the same to the 'Real Rangers Men' would be a doddle!

So what happens now? Well, we'll have to wait and see. This whole thing has been like Dallas or Dynasty, with everyone involved ready to stab their erstwhile friends in the back. Mr Dignity got the knife into Malcolm Murray, while they all lined up to do the same to Green. Now the 'Real Rangers Men' are back, trying to stick the blade into Stockbridge's spine and have persuaded the support to do the same to Green. Green, meanwhile, wants to turn it all into Big Brother, where the public can decide who to evict. Or maybe  they should make it like Britain's Got Talent and see who can sing The Sash the best to prove their credentials!

'Ah'm the Real Rangers Man!'

'Ah'm the Real Rangers Man!'

'Naw, Ah'm the Real Rangers Man!'

B-O-B-O-Y-S, BOYS TO ENTERTAIN YOU!

The Concert Party has arrived, trying to take over at Ibrox and it seems that they are being backed by the majority of the Ersatz support, not to mention our media. The Daily Record bangs on about 'disgraced' Charles Green, while Bill McMurdo's unwavering support for Auld Hughie is attacked from all quarters. They still find time, however, to blame their 'enemies' for all that is happening!

Bizarrely, McMurdo takes Keith Jackson to task for calling for Mr Dignity to walk, while, at the same time, demanding the same thing himself! Of course, Smith is completely out of his depth; as he has shown, all he is good for is spending money. He was useless as a manager, unless he had unlimited resources at his disposal and has proven to be nothing but a backstabber in the boardroom. The way he treated his supposed friend Malcolm Murray was beneath contempt. He has now, however, decided to walk; no doubt because he has been shown up for what he truly is.

Even Donald Findlay is getting embroiled in the argument, having a go at Green and claiming that he has done nothing for the club. Really? What about buying the assets, starting a new club and then managing to persuade everyone that it's still the same, old club? Mind you, he did have a willing audience!

While they're all screaming about 'agendas' and 'enemies' they all seem to forget that our football authorities bent over backwards to try and accomodate them. In fact, the plan seemed to be that Green's new team would be welcomed into the SPL and everyone would pretend that administration, liquidation and the cheating years never happened! It was the fans of the other clubs in Scotland that baulked at this clear favouritism. They even tried to shoehorn them into the First Division but, again, fan power thwarted this. And yet, the Ersatzers still maintain that they have been hard-done by. Allowing them to maintain the charade of being the 'same club' has led to them claiming that they were 'demoted' to the Third Division and that everybody's out to get them. They forget that even now the SFA are letting them away with murder. Nobody has seen the evidence that supposedly exonerates Green, but it seems that the SFA are just prepared to take Ersatz FC's word for it!

The next one to do walking away will surely be 'Whispering Grass' McCoist. He is less than useless as a manager and has shown his cards already with his ridiculous attack on Green, trying to blame him for the defeat at the hands of Forfar. If he doesn't walk soon then he will surely be shown the door before too long.

So why is everyone so desperate to see the Concert Party succeed? It's obvious; Green has done his bit and now it's time for 'Real Rangers Men' to come crawling back and return to 'business as usual.' Certainly, Auld Hughie did his best to suck up to the bigots but, when it comes right down to it, he is not one of them. There is nothing our media would like better than a return to the days of 'dignity' and the only news coming out of Ibrox was what the boardroom wanted people to hear. Looking back at the days of 'succulent lamb' it always seemed as if articles on Rangers were actually written by somebody at Ibrox. Many of the hacks in the Scottish press still pine for those days and see the Concert Party as a way of restoring them.

Speaking of succulent lamb, many are wondering where Jabba is hiding. He's probably sharpening his dagger as we speak, ready to plunge it into Green's back as soon as the opportunity arises. I remember calling Traynor's phone-in on Radio Scotland to ask him about the time the Daily Record hired a psychiatrist to interview the referee before the first Old Firm derby of the season. Much had been made in the press about Celtic getting the benefit of 'dodgy' decisions and the DR wanted to make sure that the referee was going to be 'fair'. Traynor professed to know nothing of this, even though he had been sports editor when it happened. When I pressed him he argued that his job, as editor, was just to 'sign the cheques' and often he did not know what for! So, really, he was admitting that he was not, in fact, a proper journalist. Probably he was more used to cashing cheques from a certain club for continually printing what they wanted!

Loony Leggat has still to put his tuppence-worth in but it is obvious whose side he will be on. That is, if he even mentions any of it! It seems all he's interested in is bad-mouthing Imran Ahmad and making snide comments about people at the BBC and Radio Clyde.

Talking of snide comments about the BBC, it's strange how all the Ersatzers see them as 'the enemy' and call them liars and accuse them of having an agenda. That is, until they broadcast a programme about paedophile priests; then they suddenly become truth-bearing upholders of integrity!

'Aye, Ah know it wiz Charles Green that gied me a joab at Ibrox, but...but...he's no' a Real Rangers Man! As Ah wiz sayin' tae Paul Murray doon the ludge the other day, Green disnae even know the words tae The Sash, for Christ's sake! Aye, we need some dignity an' integrity back; the good auld days when we wid pit oan wur aprons an' soart things oot wi' a han'shake. It's no' been the same since David Murray left. Noo there wiz a Real Rangers Man, he knew how tae spend the money an' keep 'is mooth shut...etc...etc..'

THE ANTI-GREEN BRIGADE

I see the Daily Record have a new columninst; bigot, thug and all-round ned, Barry Ferguson. I must admit that I was extremely impressed. Not with his comments; but by the fact that he has managed to string a sentence together. And there was no sign of the words you get at the end of Hateley's columns, 'as told to...'. Obviously Ferguson has been going to adult literacy classes and can now do joined-up writing and everything!

So what does he have to say? Not a lot, as it happens. We get the usual shite about how 'Rangers' are still the same team and how they were 'sent' down to Division 3. We also get the stuff about how following 'Rangers' is a 'way of life.' Mostly, though, he wants to see 'Rangers Men' at Ibrox.

'I would like a guy to come in, a Rangers man through and through and someone the fans can identify with and trust. There are a lot of wealthy, well-meaning Rangers guys out there who have the money to buy up these shares.'

I notice, however, that he says nothing about putting any of his own money in! Didn't he get one of those EBTs? Surely he could use some of his 'loan' to help out? Of course, that'll never happen. It seems to be the 'way of life' to greet and moan but always wanting 'somebody else' to actually do something!

And what about the 'somebody else'? It seems that there are very few of them that are happy about Green's reappearance. Loony Leggat was doing his nut about it and now Ferguson comes crawling out of the woodwork to put the boot in. And Sooperally has got his tuppence-worth in as well about his erstwhile pal.

Has McCoist even got a mind of his own? He seems to just go along with whoever is in charge at the time and then has a go at them when things change. Remember how he was having weekly 'chats' with Whyte, only to reveal later that he hadn't spoken to him for months? Then Green was the greatest thing since sliced bread; now he's nothing but a loudmouth. Recently Ally was singing the praises of Mather; I wonder what he'll be saying about him if he is ousted!

Bill McMurdo, meanwhile, seems to be the only one willing to stick by Green to the bitter end. His criticism of Jim McColl (Did he not used to be on the Beechgrove Garden?), however, leaves a bad taste in the mouth. Apparently he doesn't want McColl at Ibrox because the man supports Scottish independence! According to McMurdo, this does not sit well with 'Rangers' Unionist ethos!' It's meant to be a football team, for Christ's sake! So, despite his protestations to the contrary, McMurdo wants a 'Rangers Man' as well!

Reading McMurdo's blog is quite enlightening. One bam thinks it's the appropriate time to bang on about the whole world being under control of the Rothschilds, in league with the Jesuits! Presumably they were to blame for Ersatz FC being booted out of the League Cup yesterday by the mighty Forfar! After all, Ally' s already pointing the finger at Charles Green and the signing embargo. It's always everybody else's fault, eh?

So, essentially, what they're all looking for to take over at Ibrox is a billionaire that supports the Union, hates Catholics, hates the BBC, does the 'Rickets Walk' every summer and looks to blame everyone, including the Vatican, the Jesuits and the Rothschilds whenever anything goes wrong! GSOH, non-smoker preferred. Oh, and no need to worry if you're a crook; the SFA will get the blame for that for not stopping you from taking over.

Oh, and a final thought for Sooperally. If the transfer embargo was to blame for you being beaten by Forfar, that must mean that you needed your new players and that the ones playing today are not good enough! So Auld Hughie Green is right; yer team's pish!

'Forfar deserved thur win 'n 'at, but we hud aff-field issues tae contend wi' 'n 'at, an' Charles Green wiz sayin' things aboot us 'n 'at, poor Lee McCulloch wiz pyoor greetin' 'n 'at, an' it wiz a full moon an' Venus wiz in Virgo 'n 'at, an' thurs they Jesuits 'n 'at, but Ah'm no' here tae make excuses!'

RETURN OF THE SCOTSMAC

Loony Leggat has returned from his short sabbatical/drinking session and tossed the cat in amongst the pigeons straight away! He has a go, not at his usual targets, but at Bill McMurdo! Apparently the PSA has decided that he now hates Charles Green with a vengeance and, consequently, given McMurdo's consistent support of Auld Hughie, he hates McMurdo as well! Oh, and he's still got it in for Imran Ahmad!

Wait a minute, though, he decides to mitigate things by saying that McMurdo is a 'good, decent and honourable man.' That sounds suspiciously like Mark Antony talking about Brutus in Shakespeare's Julius Caesar! And then comes the clincher; McMurdo is a 'Christian!' In other words, anyone not a Christian cannot be good, decent or honourable. Imran Ahmad, perhaps? It would certainly seem that way, since 'Christian' is a word rarely, if ever, seen on Leggat's blog. Usually the word he uses is 'Presbyterian.' So the finger is obviously pointing at Ahmad; ie a Muslim can't be trusted!

He spends most of the rest of his blog decrying Ahmad and accusing him of being disingenuous. Apparently Ahmad, and his lawyer, were unhappy about something Leggat said previously; something that the PSA sees nothing wrong with:

'It is inconceivable that anyone brought up in the teaching of the Christian faith could have anything to do with the reptile that is Imran Ahmad. For Imran Ahmad’s values are not those of Christianity, or any other religious faith which teaches about the wrongness of bearing false witness. Imran Ahmad, a proven guttersnipe, a low life piece of scum'

It's incredible that Leggat sees nothing wrong in this. Of course, he resorts to the usual bigot's tactic of accusing the victim of his attack of being oversensitive and playing the race card! The truth is that in Leggat's alcohol-induced stupor he thinks he's still in the 1970s, where it was deemed acceptable to be as racist as you wanted. The IRA's bombing campaign was at its height, so the Irish were seen as fair game for comedians, bigoted bullies and even the police. Leggat thinks those rules still apply and that in the aftermath of 9/11 Muslims can be victimised with impunity!

He then comes out with possibly the most risible comment he has ever uttered:

'as anyone who knows me well will testify, I loathe, hate and detest racism in any shape or form.'

I take it he doesn't see the irony in that! Considering all the disgusting things he's said about Irish people on his blog the man, if you can call him such, is a racist bigot pure and simple. If your stomach can handle it, have a look at his book about the Kennedy assassination. I can't remember what it's called. I just tried to find it on Amazon but it seems to have disappeared! Tellingly, however, below his other books was an advert for Sanex odour spray! Anyway, at the start of his book he has an Irishman, who he describes as small, dirty, sneaky-looking and with greasy hair! Nothing racist, though, you understand!

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, they're all up in arms at what they see as the different treatment meted out to Hearts and Dunfermline. Maybe they don't read the small print, or, more probably, they can't read at all, but each case is decided on its merits. There is no point in fining a club that has no money whatsoever to pay the fine. As to transfer embargos; again, each is judged on its own merit. They seem to forget the abject cheating carried out by Whyte in using tax money to keep the team going. Of course, they're all so convinced that they've been hard-done-by that they can't help squealing about anything and everything.

And they're still trying to make out that Celtic is in financial difficulties and that some kind of under-the-table deal went on with GCC. I think more to the point is Duff and Phelps's handing over of the keys to Charles Green for £5m. Was there an independent valuation of the assets? Were other buyers for the assets sought? The whole thing smells to high heaven!

Everything, meanwhile, at Ibrox is rosy; or so they would have us believe. Everything is being managed fine, money is not a problem and Ersatz FC is raking it in with their ten-bob tickets. Then Bill McMurdo informs us that Green is on his way back. Why? Well, he, and other shareholders, are unhappy about the high wages of all the backroom staff and the way money is being thrown about. That's weird. I thought everything was great and Ersatz FC was fiscally sound!

Finally, Leggat reports today that Ersatz FC has spit the dummy over folk on Radio Clyde calling them a new team.
They've gone in the complete huff, banning them from Ibrox and refusing to advertise on Clyde. Aw, diddums, didda big, bad man say ye were a new team, den? Leggat also says that, on phone-ins, Ersatz supporters are usually cut off before they can make a reasoned argument. It's the way he tells them! Have you ever heard a 'reasoned argument' from one of these folk? Usually it consists of, 'We arra peeppill so fuck off ya feenyin bastard!'

Late Call, with the Reverend David Leggat

'See they fuckin' feenyins, Ah canny stand theym. Thur aw oot tae destroy ra Rangers 'n 'at. An' they muslims get right oan ma tits, so they dae. As ma auld presbyterian granny used tae say, thur aw a shower-a bastards, son. An' Ah'm only sayin' this cos Ah'm a Christian, 'n 'at...blah, blah, drone...