KING OF THE (COPLAND) ROAD

The King of Thieves has decided to come back on the scene, calling on the Bisto Kids not to buy season books but to ringfence the money in some bank account and release it on a game-by-game basis. I wonder who he'll propose to be in charge of the bank account! And they seem to love that word 'ringfence' down Ibrox way. I'd never heard the word until about two years ago when Whyte etc started bandying it about.

The fact is that you'd be off your head to trust this crook. 'A glib and shameless liar' he was called in court in South Africa. And, as is usual with anyone or anything connected with Ibrox, history gets a bit hazy and starts to be rewritten. It's all there in black and white that King was tried and convicted of serious fraud and tax evasion and decided to pay the fine rather than get banged up. The story seems to be now that because he wasn't sent to prison he was found not guilty. He's even got the deluded believing that the Stock Exchange would actually allow him to be in charge of a company. That's a bit like saying that Bernadette Smith should get her job back as a History teacher because she didn't go to jail!

The supporters' groups have come out in favour of King's daft scheme; that, however, isn't saying much. It's hard to tell these days how many folk these characters actually represent. It could easily transpire that they'd be the only ones 'ringfencing' their ST money and King's plan would go tits-up.

And what, exactly, is King's plan? He must know as well as everybody else that there's no way the Stock Exchange would allow a convicted criminal to be in charge of Bisto FC so attempting to starve them of cash and maybe driving the share price down or forcing them into administration or worse is not going to help him gain control. So what is he up to? I have to admit, it's beyond me. He must have some reason to do what he's doing. Maybe we'll find out eventually.

The fact is that no matter who is in charge at Bisto FC it's going to be a long, painful proces getting them 'back where they belong.' They've been hemorhaging money since their inception and somebody's going to have to reign it in. If they don't start living within their means then the outcome is obvious. There's no quick fix and the Bisto Kids need to start accepting this.

The Bisto Kids are all up in arms at the news that the judge in the HMRC appeal, Lord Doherty (full name: Joseph Raymond Doherty, as The Sun helpfully points out), is a Celtic supporter. Apparently, other judges were offered the job but nobody was very keen. I wonder why! No doubt their postmen objected. Anyway, the hordes are already calling for his head. I don't know anything about Lord Doherty but I do know that he's a brave man!

And now a personal message to Ben, one of McMurdo's disciples, who yesterday posted a message to me on McMurdo's blog. Apparently, I read up on things so that I can then twist them to suit my "vile hatred of things you don’t really like in life." So I don't like hatred, bigotry and prejudice; surely that's something to be proud of? Though not, is seems, in your sad life view. As to needing "counselling" and a "good psychologist" I'm not the one seeing conspiracies everywhere and so filled with hatred for a religion and a people that I'm constantly looking for things to blame them for! And you go on:

"You still talk absolute pish, your are so repetitive that you are now f****** boring, you are found out months down the line that you just look a clown and you cant even work out why people will not buy your books. "

If I talk pish then why are you reading it? And, boring? Maybe if I filled my blog with hate-filled rants about Catholics and the Irish it would be more interesting, eh? And what does that even mean, "you are found out months down the line"? As for me looking like a clown I'm afraid I'm hardly going to go crying myself to sleep just because some sad bigot hurls an insult. Perhaps your small mind can't comprehend how to conduct a serious argument and this is all you can resort to.

As for my books, I know fine well why folk aren't buying them. For one thing, they're too dear, which I can't help since Amazon sets the price and for another I can't afford mass advertising so there aren't many folk that actually know about my books. It's typical of your type to condemn something without knowing anything about it - it's called prejudice. Perhaps I should write a load of bigoted and prejudiced shite, like Leggat, and my books will sell like hot cakes! Books lie unsold all the time and for every Wilbur Smith or JK Rowling there are a thousand authors that nobody has ever heard of. It's not an ideal way to make a living and, for most writers, it's a hobby, nothing more. Why don't you buy one and get somebody to read it to you; you might actually like it!

And, contrary to what you might think, I'm completely unconcerned with what PZJ writes. I take it with the same massive pinch of salt that I take when I'm reading Phil Mac Whatsit. To me it's just like the Rangers Tax Case blog and all the predictions are going to end up being just as true. As to my being a 'disciple of the devil' well that all depends. If God is the nasty, spiteful, capricious and hate-filled deity that you and your ilk seem to believe then Satan gets my vote every time!

Finally, am I the only one that sees something suspicious in the stories emerging about secret letters exonerating IRA terrorists, as well as recent stories about Republican 'cells' and a group of people being arrested for planning some kind of terrorist activities? It's all a bit convenient in the run-up to the vote on Scottish independence. Surely our government in Westmister wouldn't be a party to anything so underhand, would they?

Are you fed up of handing over your hard-earned dole money to spivs, gangsters and crooks? Then join Dave King's campaign and starve them of funds. Just send your bank details to the P.O. Box below and let an honest man look after your money. He will release the funds on a game-by-game basis and get rid of all the crooks at Ibrox. Put your season-ticket money in the hands of a man you can trust.

This is not a guarantee. Your money may be used for purposes other than those stated. Bank details are given at your own risk. Funds taken from your bank may be more than indicated.

YOUR PROPERTY MAY BE AT RISK IF YOU DO NOT KEEP UP REPAYMENTS

The Bisto Kids are split again; this time over the loan given to their club by the Krays and The Laxative. A good chunk of them are outraged, the supporters' groups claiming that they could have put up the money if they had been asked. Coming from a support that won't even pay full adult prices for their cheap season books, that's some claim! McMurdo and his disciples, on the other hand, see it as excellent business and proof that the Krays and The Laxative are in it for the long haul. According to Phil Mac Whatsit, however, The Laxative's loan is secured against Edmiston House and the Albion Car Park. Bisto FC has admitted as much, saying, “The board of Rangers is pleased to announce that it has entered into two secured short-term credit facilities for an aggregate of up to £1.5m.”

Now there's a phrase to conjure with. "TWO secured short-term credit facilities." So what is the Krays' loan secured against? Even Phil Mac Whatsit hasn't addressed this; he must have missed that one! It should certainly send alarm bells ringing with the Bisto Kids. Why would shareholders feel the need to demand security over a short-term loan to a company they themselves are running? It's a strange business. God knows what Ronnie and Reggie are up to, or rather, the hidden shareholders and Charles Green, whose proxies they hold. A quick look into how Laxey Partners operate, however, shows exactly what they are up to.

Laxey Partners promise returns to their shareholders and have a proven record of delivering on this promise. Their usual modus operandi is to gain control of a boardroom and force through higher payments to shareholders. This, of course, is anathema to football clubs, which never pay out dividends to shareholders. Buying shares in a football club is a labour of love and it would be a foolhardy individual that thought they could make money this way. Which, of course, begs the question, why would Laxey invest in a football club? They're obviously up to something.

The hedge fund has demanded a fee of £150,000 for their loan, which, at their discretion, might take the form of shares at a rate of 1p each. Laxey is already the biggest shareholder at Bisto and this transaction will get their feet even further under the table. The actual 1 million big ones is to be paid back in cash by September 1st. Will Bisto be able to afford this? If not, then Edmiston House and the Albion Car Park could soon be up for sale. It will also be the case that Laxey will be the major creditor if Bisto becomes insolvent. Whatever's going on it doesn't bode well for Bisto FC. Laxey's shareholders are not going to wait forever for their dividends!

Mr Blobby tries to paint a pretty picture, saying that all football clubs need a cash injection at this time of year. He brags that Bisto is debt-free and does not owe money to any bank, a position he laughably claims will cause envy among other football clubs!. This, however, no matter what spin he puts on it, is a sign of severe economic weakness. What it really means is that no bank, nor any other financial institution, trusts Bisto enough to even lend them a shilling for the meter! He goes on to say that "We have some fairly significant income streams that will arise in the summer." I wonder what those could be. They're probably going to pass the bucket round at the Orange Walks!

McMurdo, of course, tries desperately to put a positive spin on things. He boasts about how great it is that "Rangers (sic) have wealthy shareholders like Sandy Easdale who are prepared to lend the club a six figure sum at ZERO interest." He obviously hasn't noticed, just like Phil Mac, that the Krays' loans is a secured loan. With that in mind, they're hardly acting altruistically! He also claims that The Laxative's loan is a positive sign.

"As for the Laxey part of the loan facility, my understanding is that they want the fee paid in shares should there be another share issue in the year after the noted date. So this means that Laxey value the business as a “comer” to quote Bud Fox."

Again it hasn't been pointed out that this loan is also secured on Bisto's assets. It should also be noted that Charlie Sheen's character in 'Wall Street' was, like Laxey, looking for the quick buck and not interested in investing long-term. So despite what McMurdo wants his disciples to believe, Laxey is only out to gain control and squeeze every penny it can out of Bisto.

McMurdo and his disciples are more concerned, however, about Scotland playing the Republic of Ireland in the Euro qualifiers. Most of them profess their hatred of the Scottish team, which begs the question as to why they care whom Scotland plays or where. They're up in arms about the possibility of the home tie being played at Celtic Park. "Who will be the home team?"  sneers McMurdo. He later shows his true colours when somebody suggests that the game be played at Ibrox. His reply?

"The Soldiers Song at Ibrox?
   No thanks"

His hatred for a country and its people goes so deep that he can't even bear to hear their national anthem! And he has the absolute gall to call other people bigots. What a vile creature! He also has a link on his blog to a speech given in Hamilton last week by the Holocaust denier,  Alistair McConnachie, who has set himself up as some kind of expert in the independence debate. As usual his reasons for staying in the Union are all airy-fairy romantic notions of 'destiny,' a skewed sense of 'Britishness' and a lot of glib platitudes. He calls for us all to think beyond our own small country, Scotland; this coming from somebody that's still, I believe, a card-carrying member of UKIP! He also calls on 'Unionist-controlled' councils to fly the Union Flag more often. I wonder whose benefit that bit was for? He might as well just have said 'flegs' and be at least open about it! You can read the rest of his orange-tinted views here: http://www.aforceforgood.org.uk/shared/british1#.UwiDMzKevtQ.wordpress

It's amazing how all the Bisto Kids came crawling out onto the Daily Record forum after Celtic losing to Aberdeen. I suppose vicarious victories are all they have now. Strangely, they moan about the Premier League being uncompetitive when they're not there, then, when another team puts up a challenge they're all slagging Celtic off. You can't win with The Peeppil! They're also now laughably claiming to be the only Scottish team unbeaten in the leagues! So a draw against Stenhousemuir and desperately diving to try to get a penalty to beat the part-timers is preferable to being beaten by an in-form Aberdeen? Only in the strange, twisted world of the Bisto Kids!

 

'We've got a plan, a big plan, a good plan. What is it? Well, I can't tell you that but it is a good, big plan. And once the mugs...I mean, the fans buy their season books then we'll be fine. It's all part of the plan. Did I mention we've got a plan?'

QUESTION TIME

A lot of us have been there. There's always a time when you need a bit of extra cash. For most of us this usually involves borrowing a few quid to buy fags, to be paid back the next day when you get to the bank. Sometimes it involves a bit more; like when I was a student, pretending to the bank manager that I needed money for new books so I could have a night out. For larger items we can get a bank loan or use a credit card. Some fortunate individuals can rely on their parents for a large tap; others have nobody to turn to at all. These latter poor creatures have to buy things from Bright House or, worse, borrow money from a loan shark. Bisto FC has now found itself in these circumstances.

With no bank, credit line or sugar daddy available, Bisto FC has had to resort to the loan shark option, in the shape of the Krays. The Laxative is chipping in as well so Bisto FC are going to be doubly in hock. Of course, this being Ibrox, the loans don't have to be repaid. Instead, the Krays and The Laxative will receive shares next year. This begs the question: where are these shares coming from? If the Krays are the big shareholders that is made out, surely they don't want those shares diluted? So what's going on?

There has been no indication yet that the Krays have bought Hughie Green's shares. If they had, then the AIM Stock Exchange would have to have been informed and it would have been trumpeted in the press. The fact that it hasn't shows that Hughie is still lurking about in the background. The Krays have got their feet well under the table, using the proxies of Green and the other investors hiding in the shadows.  You're not telling me that Ronnie and Reggie are working, if that's the right word, for nothing. Their noses will be in the trough the same as the rest of them and they'll be raking it in. So, effectively, they're using the money they've got out of Bisto to bail the club out and then receive shares for their troubles. This kind of con trick is par for the course at Ibrox.

Phil Mac Whatsit thinks that this cash is going to be used to fund some kind of administration and it's hard to argue with his logic. Mr Blobby might say that administration isn't going to happen but, then, that's what Barney Google, Craig Whyte, said just over two years ago, isn't it? It looks like things are finally coming to a head.

Speaking of administration, the job of administrators is to look after the interests of the creditors. They will try to find a buyer for the company as a going concern and try to cut costs and streamline operations, all so that the company can pay its creditors. When no buyer can be found and proposals for a CVA or such like are turned down then they hand the whole shebang over to the liquidators to sell the assets so that the creditors do not lose out. Things, however, seem to be done differently in Scotland. Duff and Phelps did not look for buyers for the assets, instead practically handing them over to Green and, effectively, defrauding the creditors. Now it seems that the liquidators are not much better.

BDO should be investigating the fraud perpetrated by Duff and Phelps and looking to seize back the assets in order to do their job and make sure the creditors get at least some of their money. Instead they have decided to play at Famous Five and find out who was responsible for the death of Rangers. Taking Barney Google and his lawyers to court is going to achieve absolutely nothing. What could the creditors possibly hope to gain from such action? It's really about time somebody had the bollocks to stand up and do the right thing instead of all this fearful pussyfooting about, trying to keep the Orange hordes happy.

Meanwhile, the Bisto Kids are still desperately trying to find some 'evidence' of financial misdeeds at Celtic Park. The main instigator of all this, the guy with the funny name from Ulster that posts on McMurdo's blog, says he's often up until three in the morning, keeping in touch with other similarly desperate souls. (And they call Phil Mac Whatsit obsessed!) Unfortunately for them, there has been nothing so far turned up by the European Commission investigation. Surely if these characters are correct in all the things they claim to have unearthed then the investigation of the EC should have been a foregone conclusion and should have been wrapped up by now? Stand by for accusations of cover-ups by the Catholic-controlled European Commission!

Have a look at this:

"1. To take on the real culture and identity of the British people – a culture of inclusiveness and a right to determine their own destiny.
2. To attach to the Union for their own ‘ends’ and feed off the larger ‘body’….i.e. a form of parasitism."

No, it's not a quotation from Mein Kampf, nor is it from a BNP or even a UKIP pamphlet; it's what passes for informed opinion on McMurdo's blog. The guy posting this is talking about the intentions of Catholics (or 'Romans' as they all call them) in voting for staying in the Union in September. Rather ironically, it sums up the whole ethos of the Orange Order.

'...a culture of inclusiveness and a right to determine their own destiny.' That's a laugh. The Peeppil have been fighting for centuries to make sure that Scottish society is not inclusive and they're still fighting to achieve it. As for 'determining their own destiny' surely this is what the referendum is about? Why are they so dead against even having the referendum if this is what they truly believe? And determining one's own destiny is something the British have fought against for years, in India, in Kenya, in Ireland and in various places all over the world.

And attaching to the Union 'for their own ends' sums up succinctly the real reason why The Peeppil are so against Scottish independence. It's all to serve the needs of the dinosaur jockeys in Ulster. England could not care less about the Ulster Loyalists; the only ones that care are the dyed-in-the-wool Orangemen in Scotland. If Scotland were to secede then the Ulster Loyalists would soon find themselves cast adrift. They are the real parasites of the Union.

Personally, I'm voting YES because I don't like the way things are going in England and if we stay in the Union we'll get dragged into all this right-wing UKIP nonsense about leaving the EU and trying to cut Britain off from a modern, global economy just for narrow, parochial reasons. We are not the same as the English, as is clearly shown by the governments they elect time after time. Better off together? Not for a long time we haven't been and, as far as I can see, it's going to get worse.

Back to matters Bisto and I see they're conducting a survey of, no sniggering at the back, 1.2 million supporters. Where does this ginormous support disappear to whenever it's time to dig in their pockets and invest some cash in their club? The catchphrase is 'Ready To Listen,' which sounds a bit like Frasier Crane. Maybe they're going to offer psychiatric advice before administration hits!

Strangely it looks like anyone can do the survey. Just go to the Bisto website and there's a link. There are a lot of anodyne questions before you get to the real nitty-gritty.

6. The following statements are important to Rangers Football Club, do you Agree/Disagree?

Proud of its rich history and tradition. What? A whole year-and-a half's worth? Oh, you must mean the 'No Surrender' and 'Up tae wur knees' stuff!

Innovates and leads the way. Well, if nothing else, it's shown that no club need fear liquidation. Or does every other club need to follow the rules?

Operates in a professional and transparent manner. Aye, right! Nobody even knows who owns Ibrox!

Is respected for maintaining high standards of integrity and professionalism. What can I say?

And really that's it. Oh, it does ask supporters to suggest things that they see as important. You can just imagine McMurdo's Mob saying that the club needs to come out and support the Union. Others will have various suggestions from 'Nae mair Kaffliks' to 'Free tickets for members of the Orange Lodge'. Already many Celtic fans have claimed to have filled in the survey. God knows what suggestions they've been making!

Finally, a rather apposite, if entirely unintended in that way, blog from McMurdo. He decided yesterday to regale us with his version of the Three Little Pigs. The story is meant to shove two fingers up at the South African Crook and other assorted 'rebels.' It conjures up a completely different picture in my mind, though!

A Bisto FC board meeting.

IMPERIAL MINCE

It's amazing how if you mention the British Empire you can still get folk that go all misty-eyed. White, British panjandrums saving the heathen natives from their primitive savagery, raising the standard of living for all the blackfellows throughout the world, educating the natives so that they could one day run their own affairs, sedate, interracial games of cricket in every far-flung corner of the Empire etc etc. The reality, however, was somewhat different.

Far from improving the lot of the natives, Britain actually destroyed local manufacturing. This was especially the case in India, where rulers were forced, often at the point of a gun, to accept cheap, British imports to the detriment of local industry and caused untold poverty and misery in many areas. In Africa, land was taken from the natives and turned over to cash-crop production, again causing misery and hardship for the local population.

Having an empire, moreover, is not a sign of strength. Most historians agree that a formal empire is a sign of economic weakness, whether it be Roman or British. In the mid 19th Century Britain was all for universal Free Trade; an admirable concept until you consider that Britain was the only nation capable of exporting cheap, mass-produced goods. As other nations, like Germany and the USA, started to catch up and competition became fiercer, so Britain had to take over the formal administration of trading partners to ensure that British goods received priority. Now, instead of economic dominance, Britain relied on the rule of brute force to maintain its exports.

Of course, not all natives went quietly and, as middle-class natives became more educated in European politics, they started to clamour for independence. This became more vocal after the First World War, when it was discovered that the European overlords were not as all-powerful as they made out. The British response was brutal and demonstrations were dispersed with bullets, sometimes supplied by aeroplanes strafing the crowd. Gandhi's peaceful protests usually ended up with either a rifle butt to the side of the head or a bullet in the guts. No wonder that many Indians resorted to more violent methods.

In fact, this became the norm in most British colonies. Political protest was silenced with the rifle and machine gun and the protesters eventually answered in kind. The downtrodden Kikuyu people of Kenya became the Mau-Mau, while the Pan-African Congress became the ANC, the dreaded 'teeroreests' of South Africa.

This happened elsewhere too. When France was brutally taken over by Nazi Germany, the French formed 'terrorist' cells to fight back. The same happened in French Indochina, Algeria and even in Spain with the Basque people. In the USA the peaceful campaign led by Martin Luther-King was answered with violence, often ignored or even led by the police. And so the bogeymen of the Black Panthers and the Black Power movement arose.

In one small portion of the British Empire the same familiar story unfolded. The natives, who were actually outnumbered by the colonists, demonstrated peacefully for civil equality, as Martin Luther-King had done. As in America, the police were complicit in the violent suppression of these demonstrations. As violence flared between the colonists and the natives, troops were sent in. Ostensibly, these troops were a peace-keeping force but, in reality, they began to put the natives 'back in their place,' even opening fire on peaceful demonstrators. Of course, as happened everywhere else, fire was fought with fire and a 'terrorist' campaign began, just as in India, Kenya, Rhodesia and other parts of the Empire. You might have already guessed that the 'small portion of the Empire' I'm talking about is Ulster. It could be claimed that I'm oversimplifying the situation but, essentially, that's what happened; the same as everywhere else.

All of which puts into context the folk songs that have appeared in Northern Ireland and in Scotland about the IRA. Black people in America have plenty of songs about their struggles, South African blacks sing about Mandela and other heroes, the French have folk songs about the Maquis and every other country in the word sings songs about their fight for freedom. So why should Irish Nationalists be any different?

I might as well point out here that I've got no great affinity for Ireland. Although my family orginally came from there I have never been and see myself as Scottish. Every family of Irish descent, however, has tales of things that happened in Ireland, especially during the terror campaign mounted by the Black and Tans. It is understandable, then, to me anyway, that folk can still feel bitter about British involvement in Ireland. Unfortunately, it is hard for such people to move on when, every year, the Loyalists of Ulster come over here to march through our streets to reassert their triumphalism and feeling of superiority.

It is rather disingenuous of McMurdo, therefore, to start pointing fingers. He, and his disciples, want the authorities to do something about pro-IRA songs at Celtic Park. Personally, I'd happily see (or hear) them disappear but there is another point entirely hidden among the rhetoric. Despite the offence caused by these songs to certain folk, it has to be said that there is not one word of hatred for British, English or Protestants in any of them; only a hatred of oppression. Can the same be said for songs emanating from Ibrox? Even their 'non-sectarian' anthem is suspect. Most fans would chant or sing about following their team to Hell and back; so where is the last place in the Universe that the Ibrox hordes would follow-follow their team to? Dublin. Why Dublin? The only possible answer is anti-Irish racism. This, to me, is a more serious problem than the songs at Celtic Park. One man's terrorist is another man's freedom fighter but hatred of others simply because of their religion or nationality is unjustifiable in any context.

I'll now perform an Esther Rantzen swivel on the chair to indicate that the serious stuff is over and it's now over to the potatoes shaped like cocks and the dogs saying, 'Sausages.'

Keith Jackson has got the Bisto Kids all in a tizzy with his piece in today's Daily Record. All he does is report the rumours, saying that we'll all find out what the truth is at the end of February; is Bisto FC skint or not? Of course, the usual crew come pouring out, on the DR forum and on McMurdo's page, to blast Jackson for being a 'Raynjurz Hater.' Maybe if they asked somebody in the library to actually read the article to them and explain all the words of more than two syllables they might realise that Jackson is actually on their side. Perhaps if there wasn't so much omerta among the Cosa Nostra currentlly running things at Ibrox then there would be no need for any of this speculation!

That's two days in a row that the DR has run a story about some big, fat, baldy guy hurling racial abuse at somebody. Yesterday it was a busker, today it's an MSP. There is no mention in the articles but you don't need to be psychic to know which team these two clowns follow follow. Hopefully there's a 'Yes' vote in September and this type will flee, seeking asylum, to the south of England. I'm sure UKIP will welcome them with open arms!

Meanwhile, more than 600 troops in the Royal Regiment of Scotland have been deemed unfit and too fat. What's the betting that among them are the shower that was at Ibrox in November? If you look at your average Bisto fan I'm sure there's a rule that you're not allowed through the extra-large turnstiles unless you need a separate seat for each arse cheek. Mind you, the size of some of them they'd need a separate post code  for each arse cheek!

Also in the Daily Record is an article about Scottish strip clubs, about which Channel 4 are starting a series next week. Apparently there is big money to be made there. Anybody fancy a lap dance from Sooperally? Or what about one of the Krays? They can do kneecap removal while they dance. There was a bit at the end of the article, however, that might be of more use. Apparently a company can claim subsidies from the Government if it employs out-of-work teenagers. So if it turns out that Bisto FC is as skint as Phil Mac Whatsit says, then next season's team could be recruited at Govan Job Centre. Or would that count as State Aid?

Finally, Shaun was imagining some brave Scottish journalist (I know, I know, but Shaun's obviously got some imagination) questioning Ally about administration. Can you imagine Sooper, who is not exactly Weakest Link material never mind Mastermind, trying to cope with answering that?

'Animistration 2? Ah don't know, Ah've no seen it. Ah've no even seen Animistration Wan yit. Kin ye get it oan Netflix? Who's in it? Ah hope it's Steven Seagall. Ah like him. What? Skint? Naw, Ah'm loaded, mate. Is the club skint? Naw, ye see the club canny be skint, only the haudin' cumpny. Naw, Ah don't get it either. Ah wish Charlie Green wiz here tae explain it tae me again.'

THE 'L' WORD

A new question is at present doing the rounds on various forums. Shaun asked it on here, I saw somebody ask it on McMurdo's blog and I saw it on the Daily Record site today. That question is: when did Rangers come out of administration? It seems like a daft question on first glance, but, when you think about it, it is a massive commentary, summed up succinctly, on the way our Fourth Estate is reporting the second anniversary of Rangers going into administration.

A prime example is today's Daily Record, where Sooperally bemoans the loss of £30m worth of players and says they'll need to replace them to challenge in the top tier; assuming they manage to get there, of course! The DR talks about the players  that left 'during administration' leaving the club with a massive hole in its personnel. The implication is that all these characters, like Lafferty, Whittaker and McGregor, all left round about Valentine's Day. The fact is that they were there for another six months.

Our media have spent the past year and a half telling us that the company changed, not the club, turning the 'holding company' scenario on its head and tearing up the rulebooks of business and football in the process. Now they're peddling a new myth: Rangers went into administration, Green bought them and now they're out of administration and debt-free! Talk about rewriting history. It's nearly as bad as one of McMurdo's 'Lord of the Rings' history lessons. So the story now is that there is an unbroken line between Rangers then, administration, and 'Rangers' now. So when, exactly, as folk are asking, did they come out of administration? And, more to the point, why are there still creditors that haven't been paid? It looks like we've all to stick our fingers in our ears, close our eyes, and pretend that a certain event never happened. I'm talking, of course, about liquidation (whisper it).

The Daily Record also decided to tell the sob story of everything that poor Sooperally has had to put up with. He was so stressed out that his mammy asked the club doctors to check his blood pressure and keep an eye on him. Awwwww! After reading this I had to go and get a scrubbing brush and a pail of water to clean the mess my heart made bleeding all over the carpet. It must be so stressful being a Yes Man and agreeing 'abslootly' with every crook and chancer that crawls up the marble staircase. There's also the small matter of his being the most highly-paid football manager in Scotland and the shares he was given in the new club. Aye, that would stress anybody out. In fact, the only sleepless nights Ally had were when he was sweating buckets about Joe Public finding out what his salary actually was!

And compared with the real stress that Neil Lennon had to endure when he and his family were in fear for their lives and had to be under constant police protection, Ally's woes are pitiful. But, then again, Lennon brought it all on himself, didn't he? No doubt his children brought it on themselves as well!

McMurdo and his disciples are banging on about preserving the Union again. This is a serious issue to them, as they desperately fight a rearguard action on behalf of the dinosaur jockeys in Ulster. The latter know they will be left high and dry if Scotland becomes independent; they would no longer have any kind of link at all to their precious Union. McMurdo can dress it up any way he likes but this is the real reason behind their rabid hatred for the very idea of independence.

What's funny is they way they all call the SNP 'fascists' and constantly liken Salmond to Adolf Hitler. McMurdo then advertises a talk on saving the Union by a guy that was thrown out of UKIP for his Holocaust-denial views. And McMurdo refuses to allow any pro-independence statements on his site, stating that it is a pro-Union blog and not a debating forum. And they call Salmond a fascist!

Then we have the clowns, who don't know their arse from their elbow, clutching at any straw that comes their way to show that an independent Scotland would fail. One claims that no country that became independent from Britain continued to use the pound. He won't have heard of Australia, then, which used the old £.s.d right up to the late Sixties! He is also, apparently, unaware of the fact that the UK Government no longer has any control over Sterling; it's all down to the Bank of England and the money markets. So, really, the Chancellor has no say on the matter. I'm surprised they're still listening to Osborne anyway, after he gave the Derry Diplodocus Despoiler short shrift in the House!

Others desperately try to equate Scottish Nationalism with Irish Republicanism, blaming Salmond for the fact that the song, 'Roll of Honour' is currently in the official UK Top 40!

But I've saved the best for last. One eat-the-breid provides a link to a site that he says proves the corruption in the Scottish Parliament. Unfortunately, this site is by a man that spent time in prison for badgering, threatening and stalking people. His cause is Hollie Greig, a story that is worth Googling and finding out what really happened. This particular bandwagon has been jumped on by all manner of conspiracy theorists, alien abductees and out and out bams. David Icke is a prominent supporter. I don't think the guy providing the link has read the blog too closely, either. The main thrust of the blog's argument is that there is a big paedophile ring in Scotland organised by - the Freemasons! It just shows how low The Peeppil have sunk!

And please remember, there are poor dinosaurs roaming all round Ulster with sore arses due to the unwanted and inappropriate attentions of a certain MP and his cohorts. Take the first step in seeking justice for these poor beasts and vote YES in September!

'Liquidation? Naw, mate, thurs nae liquid aboot here. Aw the floods ur doon in Inglund, 'n 'at!'

RUMBLE IN THE...ER...EMERALD ISLE

Laydeezanjennulmen - presenting, in the Green Corner, from across the Irish Sea, Phil Mac Whatsit! And, in the Orange Corner, from...er...across the Irish Sea, the Contributor-to-McMurdo's-blog-with-the-funny-made-up-name! Seconds away - Round One!

Phil Mac Whatsit is adamant that he is right about the crumbling finances of Bisto FC. According to him, Bisto will be lucky to make it to the end of February. It seems that he has a mole inside Ibrox, who's keeping him up to date on what's going on there. Apparently, Mr Blobby is fighting a losing battle in his attempts to cut costs and bring in investors and the brown stuff is going to hit the fan quite soon.

On McMurdo's blog, the guy that calls himself PZJ, short for Pharaoh, Zebedee and Jordan or some such, is equally certain that Celtic are soon to be hauled over the coals. He and his followers are still banging on about 'State Aid' and quoting incomprehensible bits of legal documents to prove that the whole of the UK economy has been operating merely to serve the needs of Celtic FC.

The funny thing is that commentators on both blogs are scathing about the Scottish media not reporting on all this. The ones on Phil Mac's blog moan about the 'Rangers'-loving press, while on McMurdo's site the complaint is that Peter Lawwell has the Fourth Estate in his pocket. So who to believe?

Well, I've said before that Phil Mac has a good track record when it comes to breaking the stories that everyone else is scared to touch. Remember, it was he that first told us about the financial problems at Rangers and he was also proved correct when he told us about Dallas and his sectarian e-mail. So, I think I'll plump for Phil Mac being right; although it might just be wishful thinking on my part!

The problem with the stuff that the Bisto Kids keep telling us is that it reeks of desperation. As if it's not bad enough having to rely on the Derry Dinosaur Jockey, who was given the bum's rush in the House of Commons, their insistence that there is already an investigation going on, when there isn't, shows how desperate they are. The fact is that Celtic have just been asked about the allegations and have been approached to provide documentation, which they have done. This is in stark contrast to the way Rangers refused point-blank to co-operate with HMRC, dragging things out for years and leading to the police having to go in and seize files. It certainly looks like Celtic, unlike Rangers, have nothing to hide.

McMurdo's cohorts have finally come to the realisation that relying on Dave King is a complete waste of time. Not all the Bisto Kids, however, have reached this conclusion and there are many of them that still see the crook as the Messiah. One of them said, 'If the Easdales trust him, then that's good enough for me.' So they want a convicted crook on the board, swayed by the recommendation of two gangsters! If he does decide to come in, which I doubt, there is no way in Hell that the stock exchange, even the AIM diddy one, will allow him on the board. And you know fine well who would get the blame; Peter Lawwell!

With the upsets in the Scottish Cup at the weekend, we heard from two managers. Terry Butcher was absolutely scathing about his team, while congratulating Albion Rovers and saying that they deserved to win. Equally, Neil Lennon laid into his own team but congratulated Aberdeen and said that they deserved to win. Guess how the Bisto Bigots painted this? They tried to say that Butcher had been magnanimous in defeat, saying that Rovers deserved their win, while Lennon did nothing but disparage his own team and was completely disrespectful to his victorious opponents. They'll do anything to keep the myth that 'he brings it on himself' going!

The best laugh of the week was provided by all the Bisto Kids, banging on about how they're going to do 'The Treble' and win the Scottish Cup. Maybe they haven't noticed but they've had an easy ride so far and haven't had to face a proper team yet. One clown came on the Daily Record phone-in to say that winning this 'Treble' would be a greater achievement than Celtic winning the European Cup! They really are deluded. One of the players ('stars') said that it would be as big an achievement as reaching the UEFA Cup final in 2008. He could be right; from what I remember Rangers had a pretty easy ride through that competition as well, playing the likes of the Slovakian Girl Scouts Association. If they get to the final it will be the same story; Aberdeen or Dundee Utd will tear them a new arse.

On the subject of the UEFA Cup, I always find it strange that, from what you read and hear in our media, you'd never know that Celtic reached the final of the UEFA Cup years before Rangers. They beat some quality teams on the way too, like Liverpool and, the sweetest of all, Blackburn Rovers. The latter was worth getting beaten in the final, just to see the puss on Graeme Souness!

Today  the DR 'celebrates' Rangers going into administration. As usual Craig Whyte gets the blame for everything, even though, apart from lying about his previously being banned, he actually did nothing wrong. The deal with Ticketus was all perfectly above board and legitimate and he cleared Rangers' debt with it. If, as we keep being told, the deal was fraudulent, shouldn't Lloyds TSB be handing the money back, since it is the proceeds of a crime? Nobody's going to go down that road though!

I notice on the DR forums that a bit of sectarianism and racism is creeping back in. Many posts get deleted but some of the anti-Catholic and anti-Irish ones seem to be allowed to stand. For example, there's a couple today telling us all to go home and work in the 'tattie fields'. My great-grandfather came from County Derry and had to come here to get work as there was none at all where he lived; entirely due to the old 'RCs need not apply' phenomenon. To all those screaming about us 'going home,' I'd be perfectly happy to oblige. But first you'll need to get all those fucking dinosaur jockeys out of there. If they'd stayed in their own country in the first place then my family would never have needed to come over here at all!

The only Trebles you'll see at Ibrox -

Sooper's and Mr Blobby's chins!

FIVE STARS

It must be getting near time for the season books to be renewed at Ibrox. You can always tell because  the 'We arra people' and 'Naebody likes us' statements start to come out. Previously we had Hughie Green banging on about bigotry and how everybody hates 'Raynjurz'. It worked a treat. The Peeppul fell over themselves to buy their season tickets; albeit they managed to swindle their new team by purchasing juvenile books. This backs-to-the-wall defiance is now being called upon again; only this time it's Sooperally that's calling.

Celtic Park has been chosen as the venue for this year's League Cup final and The Peeppul are not happy about it. 'Conspiracy!' they're all shouting, even though it makes sense to use Scotland's biggest stadium. It doesn't matter that usually games involving Aberdeen and Inverness are lucky if they get enough spectators to fill a phone box; a cup final is special and there are always hordes of 'fans' scrambling for tickets. Of course, The Peeppul see things differently. In their minds Ibrox should be used for everything from the Olympic Games to the International Egg-and-Spoon Championships. In fact, Ibrox, not Hampden, should be Scotland's national stadium. Scratch that. It should be BRITAIN'S national stadium!

Now Sooperally has opened his huge gob. For a change, however, he's not shoving something from Greggs into it; he's playing to the gallery. He doesn't come straight out and say it (does he ever?) but he sleekitly implies that there are nefarious forces at work in the SPFL, which made sure that Ibrox was 'snubbed'.  He says, "I think obviously Neil, or indeed whoever is running the SPFL, made the decision and they'll stick by it." Even Green couldn't have done that better.

Cue all the Bisto Kids moaning about how Ibrox is a 'Five-Star Staydyum.' Despite what they think, the five stars given to their stadium mean about as much as the five stars on their shirts. God knows when these classifications were handed out but it seems that they haven't been kept up to date. More than a few folk have pointed out that the Olympic Stadium in Athens does not actually meet the criteria as set out by UEFA. A crumbling, asbestos-filled dump would probably fail as well if it was re-assessed.

Sooper pours scorn on the reason given by the SPFL that there will be TV cameras at Ibrox on the Saturday and there wouldn't be enough time for a different company to set up for the Sunday. Sooper seems to think that the folk that set up the cameras, cables etc should work overnight just so Ibrox can be used. He's worked in television, he says, so he knows all about it. I hardly think, though, that flirting with Sue Barker qualifies you as a television engineer. A more relevant question should be why the hell our football authorities feel the need to explain themselves to Bisto FC. As Jabba himself put it, when speaking about Celtic, of course, 'Who the hell do you think you are?'

It could be, of course, that Neil Doncaster knows something that the rest of us don't. Maybe Phil Mac Whatsit is right and Bisto FC will be finished by the end of February, ruling Ibrox out to be used for anything other than a new supermarket.

McMurdo and his cohorts are more concerned with the recent condemnation of the Catholic Church by the UN. The glee that these characters exhibit when they talk about child abuse is absolutely disgusting and they care nothing about the matter or they would be calling for something to be done everywhere. The UN itself is hardly blameless in this respect. There are numerous stories about UN peacekeeping forces running brothels in occupied countries, often using kidnapped women and children. Our own government too is involved in cover-ups of child abuse but we're not supposed to talk about that. All that matters is that it's used as a stick with which to beat the Catholic Church.

McMurdo's mob are complaining about the Queen meeting the Pope, saying that she shouldn't be doing such a thing. Given the close friendship between the Royal Family and Jimmy Savile and the stories about Lord Mountbatten's involvement in the ghastly occurrences at Kincora Boys' Home, maybe it's the Pope that should be refusing to meet the Queen!

The Daily Record gets in on the act as well. It allows comments on its report about the UN and the Vatican so that the bigots can pour out their bile. Meanwhile, there is another story about a soldier, one of the much-touted 'heroes' raping a twelve-year-old girl. Comments are not allowed on this story of course!

The anti-Catholic and anti-Irish bile on McMurdo's site reaches something of a nadir with the following comment from a regular contributor:

"when is geldof and that other fucker bono organising an aid concert for those poor people flooded out of their homes, i wonder how much aid has come from abroad to help them in their crisis , well i’ll tell you FUCK ALL !! that’s how much"

How pathetic is that? Maybe he would do better to ask the Westminster Government why it saw fit to spend hundreds of millions of pounds of tax payers' money on flood defences for London (minus the East End, of course!) while we are constantly told that there is no money to stop flooding in other areas.

Joe Gorman, a player with Inverness, has apparently been suspended for making 'sectarian' and 'offensive' comments on Twitter. He was watching a Ross Kemp programme about Northern Ireland and took to Twitter to say,  "Ross Kemp in Belfast talking about the troubles   wouldn't you just love to open up on all those orange men"

An ill-advised statement and one that he would have been better keeping to himself. The Bisto Kids, with staggering hypocrisy, started to greet and complain to anyone that would listen. I say hypocrisy because they have still, on numerous occasions, been singing about being 'up tae wur knees in Fenian blood'. A McMurdoite has this to say:

"well done all the bears getting off their arses (for a change) and getting this on msm ..… I am proud of my Rangers family on this one."

So there we have it. They're finally admitting that Bisto supporter = Orangeman, after all those denials too. I wonder, will the Ibrox board verify this?

Another Bisto Kid on McMurdo's site writes what he thinks is an answer to Joe Gorman. He numbers his points and tries to make out that it's all fact. As they always do, he puts the word 'Fact' at the end of each statement, as if that confirms everything!

"Bill If I may indulge your blog a little to send an open message to Joe Gorman. Joe let me tell you a few facts on the Orange Institution,

1/ No Orangeman or woman has ever shot, bombed, or maimed anyone, Fact.
Really? So the Shankill Butchers weren't Orangemen? There are numerous other Loyalist terrorists, every one of them a member of the Orange Institution.

2/ No Orangeman has ever abused any children and gotten away with it or had it covered up.Fact
Didn't a certain Ian Paisley cover up for the abusers at Kincora? Isn't this cover-up an ongoing scandal, with evidence mysteriously 'disappearing'? All this 'Fact' tells us is that the Orange Institution is better at coverning things up than other organisations.


 3/ Orange Institution members are Christian. Fact.
Isn't Christianity about brotherly love? Most Protestants adhere to this principle and are tolerant of other religions and cultures. The Orange Institution, however, is all about hatred, nothing else.


4/ We celebrate the Glourious Revolution of 1688 that ultimately gave this land of ours ie the United Kingdom, the democracy, the bill of rights, the act of settlement, and finally the bank of England, we all hold dear today."
Democracy? The Glorious Revolution took the vote away from English Presbyterians and Nonconformists, people that James II had enfranchised. Upper-class Catholic people did not get the vote until 1829. Middle-class people didn't get the vote until 1832, working-class people not until 1867 and women not until after the First World War. And we've to hold the Bank of England dear, after they ruined the economy? Yes, the Glorious Revolution was a wonderful thing!

A BRIEF HISTORY OF BISTO FC

SHOWING ANTI-RACISM THE RED CARD

I remember years ago seeing a film that was set in Nazi Germany; I can't for the life of me remember the name of it. There was a character in it that was a paedophile and it was like all his Christmases had come at once. He was able to indulge his perverted desires as much as he wanted, using Jewish children. Now this guy wasn't a racist but the racism existing in Germany at the time meant that he could act without worrying about consequences.

When I was a teacher two of my P6s battered a P4 pupil. They were caught red-handed by the headteacher and knew that she was going to tell me about it. Obviously worried that they were in big trouble they tried to concoct some kind of excuse. Not being able to come up with anything, they tried the next best thing. 'He's a Rangers supporter, Mr Anderson!' they said. They knew I supported Celtic and must have thought I was going to pat them on the head and say, 'Well done!' It turned out that the P4 boy had battered one of their little sisters and that's why they beat him up. His being a Rangers supporter had nothing to do with it; they just thought they would get away with their behaviour because of it.

I remember when I was about nine when Star Trek was on TV, I used to think that Lieutenant Uhura was one of the most beautiful women I'd ever seen. I think I was in love. I wouldn't tell anybody, though, and I'm sure a lot of boys and men felt the same way. The problem was that in the Sixties and Seventies you weren't supposed to find black people attractive. I thought there was something wrong with me for finding a 'darkie' attractive and pretended to myself that I didn't.

So what the hell am I on about, I hear you ask. Well, what made me think of these things was the incident at Tynecastle at the weekend. Some commentators speak of spit, coins and bottles, while others say there was only one coin and a plastic bottle of juice; whatever, they all condemn it. The problem is that they are all falling over themselves to deny that sectarianism or anti-Irish racism plays any part in it. Keith Jackson especially tries his best to say that anyone that mentions sectarianism or anti-Irish racism is a troublemaker. Every time something happens to Lennon it's claimed that it's the work of some individual nutjobs. How many 'individual nutjobs' do there have to be before somebody eventually admits what the problem is?

The three stories I started with were to show how somebody might not be acting out of racism but endemic racism helps to somehow justify and sustain the way they act. The ones that attacked Neil Lennon at Tynecastle might not have been overtly anti-Catholic or anti-Irish but the background is there. The way I lied to myself about fancying Lieutenant Uhura to fit in with the zeitgeist is exactly the same as the situation with Lennon. 'He brings it on himself' has been a constant mantra in our media and is still used by Keith Jackson. Posters on McMurdo's blog call Lennon a 'vile individual' a 'disgusting human being' etc etc. Essentially, Lennon is constantly portrayed as a hate figure and if you don't hate him then, just like fancying Lieutenant Uhura in the Seventies, there is something wrong with you.

Lennon was never the dirtiest player in Scotland, nor is he the most greetin'-faced manager in the country. So how, exactly, does he 'bring things on himself'? What has he done to deserve all the hatred? I posted this question on Keith Jackson's article on Monday. It lasted a few hours and was then deleted; I guess they don't like hard questions. The simple fact is that if Lennon was black then there would be no problem in admitting the problem. Anti-Irish racism, however, is something that Scotland likes to pretend never existed at all.

Our media, football authorities and even our law courts have gone out of their way to paint Lennon as the bad guy constantly. Remember the 'shame game'? Only Neil Lennon was punished for that. The Daily Record, especially when Jabba was still around, never failed to tell us that he 'brings it on himself' while somebody that attacks him in front of television viewers is let off extremely lightly. And then we have the bombers, who were excused a heftier sentence because they used the defence that they were too thick to make proper bombs. Again, everything stacked up to make it seem like Neil Lennon was to blame. Nobody, however, seems to be able to explain what he did to attract all this negative attention and hatred.

McMurdo caused a bit of a stooshie by admitting that a section of the Bisto support (the usual 'minority') don't like Jon Daly playing for them due to his nationality and religion. It seems that most of them are still in denial. One guy supports McMurdo by saying how there is a strong element of bitterness in Glasgow, which the Follow Follow website is denying. His whole language implies that he disapproves of this bitterness; then he drops his bombshell. "I am now convinced that that site is Tarrier Central." Oh, dear!

According to Phil Mac Whatsit, Bisto FC will be lucky to make it to the end of February. Usually I take this kind of story with a pinch of salt but, it has to be faced, that Phil has turned out to be correct more often than not. In fact, I can't think of an occasion offhand when he was wrong. The story also surfaced in The Sun, where it was claimed that Bisto or, rather, the Rangers International Super-Duper Omnipotent Mother-Of-All-Companies is being investigated by the AIM diddy stock exchange for trying to cover up the true extent of the financial woes at Ibrox. So much for five-year plans, eh?

And the response of the Bisto Kids? Well, if McMurdo's blog is anything to go by then all they're concerned about is their desperate attempts to 'prove' that Celtic were involved in illegal land deals. Stand by for more questions coming from Jurassic Park aka Derry about Celtic getting favourable treatment. Even when Bisto FC goes down the pan they'll still be shouting 'Conspiracy.'

A link on McMurdo's blog goes to another site all about voting 'No' to an independent Scotland. I went to it, expecting to see some arguments in favour of keeping the Union, rather than the silly reasons we've heard up to now, like not being able to see Doctor Who anymore. And what did I find? Another ridiculous pile of shite going on about Catholics running the country, Celtic land deals and how everybody is against the PUL (Protestant Unionist Loyalist) community. And this is supposed to make normal people vote to save the Union? As I've said before, the real reason behind this is the Ulster Unionists' fear that Scotland might leave the United Kingdom. Nobody in England could care less about Ulster; these 'Loyalists' depend on their Scottish counterparts to provide a link to Queen and Country. Expect Gregory Campbell to go on the rampage with a pack of orange-sash-wearing Allosaurus if everyone votes 'Yes.'

Meanwhile there was story on AOL about bees in the USA being affected by parasites and acting strangely before they die. Experts and apiarists are calling them 'Zombie Bees.' Hopefully they never make their way to these shores. I think we've got enough Zombie B___s to be putting up with!

ONWARDS AND UPWARDS